A Glimpse Into the Mind.....

Awakened at 6am to a loud metallic crash. Jumped out on bed and looked into the back yard...thought someone was screwing around and may need to get delt with. Then realized it was a trash truck emptying a dumpster at the apartment complex next door. Got back in bed. Had a dream that I went to karate class wearing only MMA shorts and got yelled at for being late and not wearing proper attire. Woke up again, realized it was 7am, rationalized i didn't need to shower b/c i just showered last night. Brushed hair, teeth, got dressed, etc. Time check: 7:09. Fed the dog and fish, grabbed lunch and ate breakfast while watching "Fox & Friends" talk about the Somali hostage situation. Thought to myself "What is so hard to understand about this? if everyone had guns, they would have shot those Somali SOB's and there would have been no problem". Then realized it was 7:29...ran out the door. Had to move Jo's car as I was blocked in again. Cursed a lot. While backing out of the driveway, got honked at by some jackass who was using my street as a through-street and thought for some reason I was going to back out of my driveway without stopping to look around. Idiot. Thought: He probably isn't even a legal citizen...He's probably still consuming my tax dollars, though. Jerkface. Drove to the metro listing to my favorite morning show: The Junkies. They were talking about Obama's numerous gaffes, such as touching the queen or bowing to the Saudi prince. Thought: you know, for a bunch of loyal liberals to finally be making fun of the anointed one, maybe things are going to turn around. Parked the car and thought: How is it that they are embarrassed by bowing to a Saudi prince, but they are ok with the Bamster running around like a drunk teenage girl with her daddy's credit card??? These people's vote counts just as much as mine...FML. Walked into the metro and got a free "paper" (aka. CRAP) from the hand-out-papers guy. Told him good morning, as always, and thought: "There is a 99.9% chance he voted for Obama because he's black, but I like this guy...he actually has a job and is here every morning. Good for him". Just missed the metro train, but got a good laugh at all the 40-something year old men who sprinted down the escalator about to kill themselves because they thought that getting to work 4 minutes earlier would somehow make a difference (Yes, they missed the train too). Stood on the platform, had some foreign woman walk up and stand DIRECTLY in front of me. Like....almost standing on my toes. What the hell lady? Give me some personal space here! Next train showed up, and the lady literally (physically) bumped me out of her way to be first on the train. If this was the good 'ole days (creation of the earth - 1700 AD), I probably would have smacked her in the back of the head. Got on the next train, stood in the middle of the car as instructed, and took my standard look around. No hotties today. The guy sitting down next to where I was standing had on some weird looking glasses and a nervous twitch. Note to self: Keep your eye on this clown. He's the most likely person on this train car to go crazy and shoot everyone. Be prepared to rain down some GnP on his face. Started to read the paper. First up: Somali pirates article. Thought: I don't care about this anymore. If you go into those waters w/o rolling heavy, you are an idiot. Next up: Random Headlines. Thought: See, this is why newspapers are going out of business. I read about all this crap on the Internet 2 days ago. Next: State Department open to Nuke Talks with Iran. Thought: "Ugh. I cannot believe we built this country into a superpower, and have given it up to total freaking MORONS. If I want something from the gov't, I'll just have to threaten them from now on. Creepy man check: Nope...he's still just sitting there. Everything's cool. Continued to read paper: "Iran charges US journalist as spy" (Screw 'em. Statistically, if you let him/her rot in an Iranian prison, you are doing us a favor) and "Mob storms Communist gov't offices in Moldova" (Why the hell does Moldova have the balls to take their country back, but Americans- who actually started the whole idea- will do nothing about our socialist tyrants?). Then read through the 8-10 pages of crap on arts and indie-rock. Could not understand why so much time and effort was wasted writing and producing a paper on this garbage. Thought: these people probably even get PAID. Jesus. Creepy-man check: Watch out, he just stood up. Ok...he's getting off the train. All clear. Case the area again: No hotties, but also no psychos. Nice. Finally, the opinion section. "60% feel Gay marriage will eventually be legal in all 50 states"- Oh god, kill me now. Reader comment: "I hope that some day people will see past their own ignorance, bigotry and hatred and accept the basic human right of marriage". HOLD THE F ON: 1) Why is it that anyone who disagrees with you is a hater, bigot or ignoramus? 2) Where in the bill of rights does it say anything about marriage? 3) Marriage is a religious thing, and those who support gay marriage also are the biggest rejectors of religion...what the hell is that about? As this comment could have come from the mouth of any number of liberal-hippy-idiot-d-bags standing around me on the metro, I am now officially pissed off at the world around me, and it is only 8:09am. Got off the metro, still annoyed at all the things I read in the paper. Saw a bunch of cops at the top of the escalator and though "oh crap...I still haven't changed my driver's license". They were handing out fundraiser flyers for a fish fry tomorrow. $8 bucks a plate. I thought: You know, if I'm going to spend $8 on lunch, I'd 10-times over rather give it to the cops who are cleaning up DC than those creepy Asians in the cafeteria downstairs that only take cash and constantly rip you off. I'm def. going to the fish fry tomorrow. Walked up to my office, found the door was locked. Thought: Sweet, I'm the first one here. They can't give me any crap for being the first one to leave...wait...no...logic and rationality does not apply. Nobody ever asks what time you got here...they only ask why you are leaving. God I hate the attitudes of DC. Fired up my laptop. Thought: You know, I need to get this out. I wonder if it is just me, or if everyone is like this? Better post in my blog...